Lessons from Losing My Sister to OUD

Editor's Note: This article discusses overdose and its impacts, which may be distressing for some readers. If you need support, please reach out to a person you trust or crisis resource. You can also get help here.

I lost my sister to an opioid overdose. Here’s what I know now that I wish I knew then.

The phone call that changed everything

In the summer of 2008, I received a frantic phone call from my mother around 4 AM. She was screaming into the phone but couldn't get any words out. Eventually, my dad took the phone and yelled “Niki (my big sister) is dead!” He told me to meet them at her house. On the way there, I concluded that my sister had overdosed on opioids, again.

At 18, I was very uneducated on the topic of addiction and drugs. Since they had brought my sister back from an opioid overdose multiple times before, I thought this time would be no different.

That night felt like a nightmare

I can remember arriving to her house. My parents, little brother, and sister’s fiancé were there with only one police officer standing guard at the bottom of the stairs. I asked everyone, “Where’s Niki? What hospital did they take her to?” They replied, “Natalee, she's already gone. She’s upstairs right now, the ambulance already came and left.”

I was devastated, confused, and in disbelief. I was in shock, and my body physically hurt. Every memory I have from that night is almost like a dream, but the one moment that will forever be etched in my mind is the image of 2 officers carrying my sister down the stairs in a body bag.

As they laid her down on the gurney, they unzipped the top of the bag down to her chest so my parents could say one last goodbye. I'll never forget the screams and cries from my mom and dad as they kissed her all over the face. I don’t want to hear or see another parent in that much pain again for as long as live.

I wish I took my sister's addiction more seriously

At the time of my sister’s death, I was still a child, and I understand that it wasn’t my fault. But I think it’s only natural to feel some type of guilt or ask yourself if you could’ve done more. To be honest, everyone can always do more, but it’s easier said than done.

Addiction is a family disease, and it’s true that the whole family suffers along with the person experiencing addiction. It causes division and chaos throughout the home.

My parents tried so hard to help my sister, but unless my sister saw the wrong in her actions and wanted to change for herself, nothing was going to work. We tried to get her to go to treatment many times. Several of those times, she agreed. We would wait for a bed to open, but when the time came, she wouldn't commit.

There always seemed to be an excuse. For example, she didn't want to leave some guy she was with. As time went by, things would “get better” for a little while until crap hit the fan once again, and we’d start this whole process over.

There’s a fine line between supporting someone who is in addiction and enabling them. It’s extremely difficult to navigate this journey with just the family alone.

I wish we sought out professional help immediately

When I first started to notice the effects of my sister’s opioid use disorder, I wish so badly I would’ve found a provider that specialized in addiction. If I had a loved one who was in addiction today, this is the first thing I would do.

I think it’s important for the whole family to seek professional support when dealing with opioid use disorder or any type of addiction. I’d make sure I was upfront, open and honest with them.

Addiction specialists know different options and ways to support and manage someone struggling with addiction. Options vary on a case-by-case basis, and data shows high success rates when you have strong support.

I wish we spoke about my sister's opioid use openly

Growing up, I was always told that family business should stay in the family. I believe that in most scenarios this is important and should stay true. However, sometimes this can be more damaging than helpful.

We learn and grow in life by communicating and listening to different perspectives. If my family and I openly spoke to my sister about her addiction and what she needed, perhaps she could’ve found recovery.

Taboo topics like opioid use disorder and addiction can easily end in death. Therefore, it’s crucial that we, as families and communities, converse with each other freely and without judgement because these deaths can be completely avoided.

I wish I knew about medication-assisted treatment

The first time I heard about Suboxone and other medication-assisted treatments (MAT) was after my sister overdosed. I know firsthand the benefits of these medications, and I’ve witnessed the positive effects it can have on one’s life.

There are pros and cons to everything, but had I known about MAT when my sister was still alive, this is something I would’ve strongly encouraged her to pursue. This medication can help someone struggling with opioid use disorder get stabilized and launch them into recovery. I’ve seen it done many times, and I experienced this result myself.

I wish I knew to always carry naloxone

You’ve probably heard of naloxone (brand name Narcan) by now. But if you haven't, naloxone is a medication you can use to reverse the effects of an opioid overdose. Before my sister's overdose, I didn't know how important this medication is.

It’s important for me to always carry this nowadays considering fentanyl is running rampant through every town in America. Although my sister’s drug of choice was Lortab, Vicodin and Oxycontin, these are all still opioids and can be reversed with naloxone. If my family kept this medication in our home, my sister would still be alive today.