Husband in Denial Excessive use
My husband was going through a 30 day Oxy prescription in 10 days. For months I would find prescription looking pills that were not his as they were a different color and had a different dosage written on them when he was out of his meds.
Says it’s not a problem only a high tolerance and always said “ if. Have a problem how am I able to go to work”. 6 months ago he was switched to Buprenorphine but on day one mixed them with his Oxy we went to the ER as he was having heart palpitation when I told him we have to let doctors know what he did , he refused to go inside . ( even after admitting he mixed he blamed the episode on his jog)
Spring forward to current day I noticed all the same mannerisms and sure enough found Mexican tramadol. When I confronted him same answer he only had a high tolerance and he had to hide because I am judgmental.
His only question was how did I know?
I didn’t even try to explain what I see, what others see and have asked me about. I feel at a loss as what to do, every time he gets caught he becomes
Religious , loving, for a period of time .
After 4 years of this roller coaster I feel like he does this to take my focus off his lies and usage. He recently lost his job , but it was a layoff of several so he refuses to think his pill usage had anything to do with it but he forgets that on the other hand he is so quick to say what a good worker he was , he doesn’t see that it doesn’t fit.
I fear this is only going to get worse!
Any advice ? Is it just a high tolerance ?? As he says
We are going through this with our 55 yr old daughter. She and her husband lost their home, he went into rehab over 1 years ago and they are now separated. We moved her into our home because she has custody of our great-grandson, and we didn't know what else to do. She goes through her meds way before they are due and gets rx from friends (pays for them). I made the mistake of giving her the money to buy a few pills due to her begging like a little kid and driving me crazy. I have and adopted daughter was a brain injury, so I have my hands full. She gets disability and overdrawn at least have everyone because she is over her head.mToday she asked me for 100.00 to get 10 pills. Such a deal, she said. Told her.Already told you I will never do that again. She said she might turn me in for buying some for her several months ago. I said go ahead, because I will not give you money. She and my greatgrandson are living off us. We are retired. I have threatened her with either rehab or a women's shelter. Don't know what to do.
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you’re under a huge amount of stress trying to care for your family while managing your own household. It’s clear how much you love your daughter and great-grandson, and it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed and unsure what to do. While it’s okay to set firm boundaries around giving money, it’s also important to know that threatening her with treatment could backfire. You might find this article written by one of our health leaders helpful in navigating this situation: https://opioid-use-disorder.com/living/tough-love
In the meantime, you might consider keeping naloxone (Narcan) on hand in case of overdose, and reaching out for support for yourself. You can find some resources here: https://opioid-use-disorder.com/support-resources
You deserve help and community while navigating this. We're always here for support! -Jessica, Team Member
Hi
, Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you’ve been carrying so much while trying to understand what’s going on and how to help. It’s understandable to feel at a loss after years of this cycle.
It’s important to recognize that he's the one who must decide for himself whether he wants help or views his use as a problem. Trying to force someone into treatment often backfires, especially if they are not ready.
If you feel safe, you might consider discussing your concerns with him when things are calm and sharing what you see without judgment, focusing on how it impacts you, rather than trying to convince him that he has a problem. It’s also okay to set boundaries around what you will and won’t tolerate for your own well-being.You don’t have to go through this alone. Here are some resources for the loved ones of people affected by substance use: https://opioid-use-disorder.com/support-resources
You deserve support, clarity, and peace of mind while navigating these challenges. Please keep checking in here whenever you need. -Jessica, Team Member
