Hi - Thanks for taking the time to post here. I'm glad you found our page and I’m really glad you decided to reach out. I’m so sorry you’re carrying this fear right now...Two years is a long time to be struggling, and it makes sense that you’d want people around you who truly understand and I know from moderating in this community that finding others who can understand are often hard to come by. Please know that you are not alone here. I know you are posting from Germany, so of course, I hope others nearby see this and offer support, but I also just wanted to post a reply since you took the initiative of sharing here. Thank you for being honest about how you are doing, and please do let me know if there might be anything specific you are looking for or that I might be able to assist you with. We have lots of different articles and resources on the site here. - Jake (Team Member)